10.13.2005

things that make you go... "holy crap, i'm glad that isn't the case!!"

as a side thought from my last post, i gave some thought to friction. now stangely enough, in the past, i have heard people thank different natural forces for existing (like gravity, or magnetism, heat etc.), but imagine a world without friction!! we couldn't do a damn thing!!! our opposable thumbs wouldn't do us much good anymore. you couldn't walk, drive, sit, pick up anything without a handle....

we couldn't make anything, write anything, throw anything, nothing would be stationary, and putting clothing on would require way too much concentration at 5 in the morning. sports would not exist except for a bizarre version of pong type hockey where you could only move in striaght lines and would have to run into the walls to stop.

music would barely exist, and would not have the form it does today. any stringed instrument (guitar, violin, bass) could not be played, piano would be extremely difficult, even wind instruments or any other hemholtz resonator type instrument would experience some sort of sound loss.

on the plus side, we wouldn't be in the middle of an energy crisis as cars would not exist. everyone would slide to work on their asses, pushing themselves along with handles poking up from the sidewalks. that could rock actually.... making yourself slide faster and faster and faster........ until you have to haul ass into a wall to stop when you get to work....

so thank you friction, for continuing to rock, and allowing me to enjoy a life full of resistance.

4 Comments:

At 8:04 AM, Blogger kyle said...

well, there's that, and also those "kissing bears" from Hallmark wouldn't work either. then everyone would be up poop creek!

 
At 8:15 AM, Blogger mattdana said...

It just occurred to me: in the world you've described, sex would consist of a series of fruitless collisions, and would depend heavily upon the power of imagination.

 
At 7:01 AM, Blogger kyle said...

yeah, no need for the astroglide then huh??

 
At 9:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kyle, FRICTION RAWKS MY FRIEND. Friction makes me happy when I touch myself. Signed. Your house mate :)

 

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