hey billy bob!! i dun kilt me a pheasant!!!

and boy she was as pretty as a five wire fence!! actually i have no idea what the bird looked like cuz i was too busy crapping my pants. i was 20 miles southwest of The Middle Of Nowhere, Kansas saturday morning, hauling ass to get to a wellsite. the pheasant was apparently sleeping by the side of the road and i flushed it out. it freaked out, flapped it's short flipper-like wings struggling to gain speed and altitude directly in front of me. i was driving 2 tons of vehicle and equipment at 70 miles an hour. the bird made it as high as my windshield and CRACK!!! the bird slammed into the windshield directly in front of my face, splitting my windshield. i look in my rearview mirror and feathers and the carcass fall to the ground. my drivers-ed teacher made me hit a squirrel back when i was learning to drive, and it is because of that training that i continued down the road without a second thought as i changed my pants.