octobers over

it's early but i have no idea where i'll be this weekend, so happy halloween. scare the crap out of some little kids for me.

punt!

"Fan at Canadian Football League game kicks 50 yard FG, wins $1 million and becomes highest paid player in league."

britney's guide to semiconductor physics!

it is a little known fact, that Mrs Spears is an expert in semiconductor physics. not content with just singing and acting, in the following pages, she will guide you in the fundamentals of the vital laser components that have made it possible to hear her super music in a digital format.

question@

WHY THE HELL IS MOVIE CANDY SO FUCKING LOUD?!?!!?!

honestly... movies are quiet time. no talking, no cell phone, no babies. so why do they sell you loud-ass bags of candy!?!?!?

i was stuck in a POS town north of fort worth last night for work and decided to go to the movies. i saw A History Of Violence which was horrible. it was slow and pointless and aside from the completely un-neccessary and irrelevant cheerleader sex scene, it was the worst movie i've ever seen. in any event, movie candy is now officially on my shit list.

some douche sitting directly behind me (in a mostly empty theater) had a bag of skittles or something and every 1.5 minutes.... KRINKLE-KRINKLE-KRINKLE-RUSTLE-KRINKLE!!!

HEY! I'M TRYING TO WATCH THIS HORRIBLE MOVIE AND GET MY $8 WORTH ASSHOLE, COULD YOU SHUT YOUR DAMNED CANDY UP?!!?!

making the band... just like fantasy football

if you could make up a fantasy 4-person band, who would be in it? my choices are:

Vocals: Mike Patton (most notably of Faith No More)

Guitar: Dimebag Darrell (Pantera)

Bass: Les Claypool (Primus)

Drums: Danny Carey (Tool)

BACKUPS FOR INJURED PLAYERS:

Vocals: Chris Cornell (Temple Of The Dog, Soundgarden, Audioslave)

Guitar: Eric Clapton

Bass/Horns: Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Drums: Vinnie Paul (Pantera)

these combinations would kick so much, i would surrender my first born to see them if they were all alive....

"PPPPPFFFFFFFTTT!!!"

--- is the sound of the coffee flying out of my mouth this morning when i saw this picture. i know it's wrong, but i can't stop laughing!!!!

things that make you go... "holy crap, i'm glad that isn't the case!!"

as a side thought from my last post, i gave some thought to friction. now stangely enough, in the past, i have heard people thank different natural forces for existing (like gravity, or magnetism, heat etc.), but imagine a world without friction!! we couldn't do a damn thing!!! our opposable thumbs wouldn't do us much good anymore. you couldn't walk, drive, sit, pick up anything without a handle....

we couldn't make anything, write anything, throw anything, nothing would be stationary, and putting clothing on would require way too much concentration at 5 in the morning. sports would not exist except for a bizarre version of pong type hockey where you could only move in striaght lines and would have to run into the walls to stop.

music would barely exist, and would not have the form it does today. any stringed instrument (guitar, violin, bass) could not be played, piano would be extremely difficult, even wind instruments or any other hemholtz resonator type instrument would experience some sort of sound loss.

on the plus side, we wouldn't be in the middle of an energy crisis as cars would not exist. everyone would slide to work on their asses, pushing themselves along with handles poking up from the sidewalks. that could rock actually.... making yourself slide faster and faster and faster........ until you have to haul ass into a wall to stop when you get to work....

so thank you friction, for continuing to rock, and allowing me to enjoy a life full of resistance.

physucks is phun!!

see jimithy's blog (to the right) and read his post about exercise/lack of/gaining weight for the winter months. he says "If I get fat, who cares, more m1v1 for the ski slopes!". i was asked to explain, so here, bitches:

what is m1v1 you ask??

DAMN YOU AND YOUR OFFSPRING FOR NOT KNOWING!!!!

m1v1 is a referrence the conservation of momentum, which is an extension from Newtons III'd law (my favorite), which is that forces are equal and opposite.... for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

simply stated, in a collision of two objects, the TOTAL momentum for both objects before and after the collision is the same, save for losses due to friction etc. think billiards. one ball hits another. ball one stops dead in its tracks while ball two hauls ass into the pocket at roughly the same speed as ball one was going before the collision. it is not exactly the same speed because the collision between the two balls is not perfectly elastic, though it is close.

the equation changes form slightly depending on the type of collision:

elastic collision:


head on collision (one dimension):

and


inelastic collision:


this equation can be taken form its simple form above, all the way to a complex integral form. this, for example, is the integral form modeling the unsteady open-channel flow of water:



it defines the time rate of change of momentum per unit length as the sum of the net downstream forces and the net efflux of momentum. simply stated, how much momentum does a unit of water gain or lose by moving through an open channel*.

now back to the topic at hand.... while the modeling of the collision of two balls is not equivalent to skiing, as shown above, the basic principal can be streched and formed into a complex formula that can model jimithy's momentum whilst skiing. simply stated, the more he weighs, the faster he can go down the slope. HOWEVER, this is only true if his skis are properly waxed. the force of friction on his skis will also increase if he weighs more (more normal force), but if the skis are waxed well, the loses due to increased friction can be reduced.

i remember racing my father down the slope as a kid and i could never win. i was 125 pounds, and my dad was probably 225. he would just glide down the hill as i tucked, trying to gain speed (lessening my air resistance). this is not to say that things that weigh more fall faster, however. a ball of tin foil falls at the same speed as a ball of lead. in the case of skiing though, all the forces in action emphasize differences in weight. i never won, mostly because he weighed more, but also because was being a dick and wouldn't let me. yet another character builder....

in any event i finish this post with the words of my favorite teacher in hich school: "Put that in your pipe and smoke it!"


*open channel.... i.e. - a trough, river, or equivalent that has only three wet surfaces as opposed to a closed system, i.e. - pipe.

holy crap!!

talk about a severe case of the munchies!! the alligator this python tried to eat took a detour and burst through the pythons side! holy crap!! sadly, i know the pain the python went through just before it happened from my record of 17 soft tacos from taco bell....

strangely enough, Google Fight predicted correctly that the alligator would win this fight, though i guess neither of them actually won....

speaking of creepy....

i want to be this for holloween:

separated at birth??

anyone besides me think the new supreme court justice and this thing were separated at birth??




by the way, air high five to anyone who knows what movie the lower dude came from.

skull candy

8 songs i've heard randomly and taken note of over the past week that not only kick ass, but i would bet you haven't heard in a long time. therefore, do whatever you need to get these tracks and indulge in some skull candy:

1. temple of the dog - say hello 2 heaven

2. motley crue - wild side

3. led zeppelin - over the hills and far away

4. emf - unbelieveable

5. mazzy star - fade into you

6. spin doctors - two princes

7. james - laid

8. jesus jones - right here right now

candycandycandycandy!!!!

I LOVE CHARLESTON CHEWS!!!!

-what's your favorite sugary treat?

ignorance is most certainly not bliss!

ignorance is not bliss, it's straight up aggravation for the rest of us who are not complete idiots!!
so for those ignorant jackasses out there that hopefully might read this, here are some tips that will help you get through your day. and yes, i have witnessed each of these in the past week:

a. you do not have to waste 10 mins writing a check at walmart because you can't figure out the credit card machine. also, there is no need to get angry with me at pointing out to you that the black strip on the back of your card is what you need to swipe, not the short end of the card.

2. if you are lonely, stop being an anti-social tool and get some friends. there is no need to blow yourself up at an OU football game to get attention.

iii. if something says that it is hot, there is a good chance that it is. do not pick it up, then drop it a second later on the floor ruining it and then proceed to yell at the sales clerk when he doesn't give you another food item for free.

d. do not hitchhike in the northbound lane when the destination city that is written on your cardboard sign is 120 miles south of you.

#. rocks are pointy and they hurt. do not wrestle a man twice your size on a stone road and then bitch to me in spanish when
16 - you lose
17- you are bleeding
18 - you have to go back and roughneck on an oil rig for the next 9 hours